“Come with me now, to that secret place, where the eyes of man have never set foot…” The “Magical Mystery Tour,” represents an odd moment in Beatle history as both a film and an album.  As a record, its unintentionally brilliant.  The original British EP just consisted of songs from the hour long movie such as “Fool on the Hill,” “Blue Jay Way,” “I am the Walrus,” and the cool trippy instrumental “Flying.”  That now rare EP has long since been replaced by the full length American issued record.  The LP, not only includes the songs from the movie but also includes all the humungous Beatle singles from 1967 such as “All You Need is Love,” “Strawberry Fields Forever,” and “Penny Lane.”  It makes for a colossal psychedelic album, littered with Beatle masterpieces.  The film, while containing much of this fantastic music, is a different story all together.  Conceived mainly by Paul McCartney as a solution to give the Beatles exposure without the hell of playing to insane live audiences, the film ended up being the Beatles first real commercial and critical disappointment.  So let’s not kid ourselves, the movie sucks.  The plot makes no sense, its poorly edited, (save the musical numbers) includes a ridiculously pointless strip tease, and ends suddenly with little to no explanation.  That being said, the film is a total joy and wonder.  I know, I just massively contradicted myself, but come on, you get to see some of the greatest musical geniuses the world has ever known, running around like mad as a collective unit, at a time when they were at their creative peak. It’s a priceless document of the lads in the era right after the death of their manager Brian Epstein, (the first real death knell of the group according to John Lennon), and just before their incredible spiritual journey to India.  The making of the film became a source of tension for John and George, as Paul basically created and directed most of it.  John and George were becoming increasingly disgruntled with Paul’s emerging group dominance, and resentment grew mightily.  As for the Mystery Tour itself, that too ended up being a disaster as fans found the bus on the road, tailed it, and caused traffic jams.  John angrily tore the “Mystery Tour” graphics off the bus’s side so they could proceed filming on schedule and with more anonymity.  With all the unhappiness present amongst the Beatles, glimmers of joy and goofiness do pierce the film’s dreck.  Ringo is simply a fantastic actor with a lot of heart and humor.  John, decked out in psychedelic lederhosen, has some nice moments with a cute little kid, and George is deliciously weird as fuck throughout the entire film. Paul, who is blamed for a majority of the film’s crappiness as director, does get a stunning spotlight for his “Fool on the Hill” sequence as he dances around the cliffs of France. Anyway, I got the full film, remastered in stunning sound and glorious color, so roll on up for the Mystery Tour, just click play!

“Tell Me Why,” is the greatest black girl group doo-wop song ever.  John wrote it in Paris or New York, presumably influenced by his relationship with his then wife Cynthia, well, at least according to Paul McCartney.  John Lennon was a genius at creating the kind of propulsive and driving rock and roll that was also deliriously joyous.  “Tell Me Why” is like a massive bag of delicious candy in this regard, an unstoppable sugary confection of love, sadness, and exuberance.  The video below is from the “A Hard Day’s Night,” film, an excellent vehicle for the song.  Also, I noticed, YouTube started adding a 3D effect to some of its videos, and this one has it.  I couldn’t get it to work right, but maybe you can, in which case, the Beatles 3 pronged vocal attack will beam right out of your screen and into your face…pretty awesome, no?

“All I Want for Christmas is a Rock and Roll Electric Guitar…” I wonder how many Fenders and Gibsons this line sold.  1958’s “Run, Run, Rudolph,” is basically Chuck Berry’s “Little Queenie” rewritten as a Christmas song, but when you’ve written the 4 greatest possible rock and roll songs or so, what does it matter if you copy yourself?  Actually, Chuck didn’t even write the words for this song.  Johnny Marks and Marvin Brodie own that distinction, giving Chuck a beautiful snow covered Christmas wonderland for him to sled around on his guitar.  Anyway, this song is extremely joyful and fun, and the thing is, you only hear it around Christmas making it easy to forget.  So, lets not forget it this Christmas, and soak up all the jolly spirit it has to offer.

Oh the hits keep rolling for Hall and Oates.  “I Can’t Go For That (No Can Do),” was a #1 for Daryl and John in 1981, and another track that set the tone for 80s pop.  Their embarrassing cover art for the single also help set trends of decadent ugliness for the 80s as well.  Pop music from the 1980s had many uniting broad themes from futurism, celebration, dark sexuality, and paranoia.  “I Can’t Go For That” has those trademarks in spades.  It also holds the distinction for being the first song by a non-African American group to top the R&B charts.  Daryl Hall, the songs primary writer, was most pleased with this achievement, stating, “I’m the head soul brother in the U.S.  Where to now?”  Good question.  One direction led to an even bigger hit, Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean.”  Michael admitted to Daryl that he copped the bass line from “I Can’t Go For That” for his own ultra-smash hit, to which Daryl replied, ‘I took that bass line from someone else to begin with, and that it’s “something we all do.”‘  That reminds me of another theme in 80s pop, superstar collaboration.  It’s as if their was one continuous party of mega rich famous rock stars, who all inflated each others egos, and played on each others records.  Heady times, heady coke fueled times indeed…

I never thought I’d be adding a “Hall and Oates” section to my website, but on December 17th, 2011, it apparently has happened.  Actually, I’ve been slowly enjoying Hall and Oates a bit over the last few years, getting hooked on the single “I Can’t Go For That,” and hearing a fantastic sounding Daryl Hall on the Howard Stern show a few weeks ago.  The song in the cross-hairs today is “You Make My Dreams Come True,” a top ten hit from 1980.  It has popped up irrepressibly in a bunch of modern Hollywood movies and TV shows including “500 Days of Summer,” “Step Brothers,” and “King of the Hill.”  The song just makes people happy and want to dance, and I’m tired of denying its power.  I’ve come to have embrace its gorgeous keyboard/electric guitar attack rhythm section and blue eyed soul vocal delivery.  That addictive and high pitched guitar stutter reminds me of the Beatles’ “Getting Better,” possibly the happiest song of all time, and its doo-wop heavily processed backing vocals make it a total 80s classic, paving the way for the general sound of 80s pop.  So, in conclusion, my advice is this; turn this song up to 11, pour some lemonade, and play this song 4 times in a row.  Hall and Oates, FTW.

I’m not tuned in to every detail of the Wes Anderson universe, but I loved being surprised by them.  I was surprised by how much I loved “Fantastic Mr. Fox” when I saw it, despite thinking for over a year it was probably some horrible 3D childrens movie, (its nothing of the sort, and you should see it if you haven’t.)  I was surprised by how much I loved “The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou,” a film which I assumed sucked because that’s what everyone was saying at the time of its release.  I waited over 3 years before seeing it, and I thought it was wonderful.  I was surprised at how much I loved “Darjeeling Limited,” a movie I reluctantly watched on my computer one summer day with no intention of sitting through the whole thing, but I did, and I watched it again, the next day.  I was never a Wes Anderson fan, but I guess I’ve been surprised to discover that I love practically everything he’s done; all said love coming with a great degree of anti-hipster reluctance I suppose.  This pattern has now lead me to “Hotel Chevalier,” a 13 minute short film Anderson made with Jason Schwartzman and Natalie Portman.  The film serves as “Darjeeling Limited’s” prologue, and is essential watching for fans of the latter mentioned full motion picture.  What makes it essential?  Well, nothing of any substance in terms of plot or characterization, but like any good comic book, its good to just continuously inhabit the world of a universe you really love.  “Hotel Chevalier” allows that privilege.  The funny thing about the “Darjeeling Limited” universe, and the one explored further in “Hotel Chevalier,” is that they exist in the grander Wes Anderson universe.  It’s an imaginary and dreamy sort of world, stuffed with the precious sort of nostalgia that is both impossible not to adore, and desire with great jealously.  For those wondering, the song that appears both in the short and in the full picture is “Where Do You Go To (My Lovely),” by Peter Sarstedt.  It’s easy to see why Anderson would be attracted to that song, as it makes reference to a beautiful girl’s Rolling Stones record collection.  Anyway, I was just as surprised that this short film existed, and having become tired of being surprised by Anderson’s genius, I watched it right away upon hearing about it.  You can too if you’ve never seen it, or rewatch it.  Either way, enjoy.

So the story goes that while on the road in Chicago, the Wheel of Fortune game show had a contestant drop out at the last minute.  The producers found some guy named Raymond Taylor on the street, gave him a suit, and propped him on the stage.  I have no idea if this is true or urban legend, but legend is the operative word when describing Raymond Taylor’s exploits on Wheel of Fortune.  Raymond was a skinny Chuck Berry clone who could never look anyone in the eye, and was constantly fidgeting around the set.  He was also TV gold.  He was genuinely witty and cutting in all his remarks and timing, and he was a stunningly adept “Wheel” player.  Many people assume, with racist underpinnings, that Raymond was a crack addicted clown.  I’m not going to go that far.  Television has a way of either making people conform with fear, or bringing out their inner star.  I think this was the case of the latter.  Raymond ended up winning over 80k in cash and prizes, and actually began to stalk the Wheel of Fortune studios looking for a job.  The studio ended up putting a restraining order against him.  It’s a bizarre end to a hilarious and peculiar story, but check Raymond out yourself in his best moments on his unreal Wheel of Fortune run.

When the Beatles appeared on the Ed Sullivan show on a Sunday night in February of 1964, 73 million Americans tuned in.  Originally Ed offered the Beatles Manager Brian Epstein a top dollar billing for a single show, but Brian turned it down and negotiated a 3 consecutive Sunday appearance for practically no payment.  The exposure the Beatles received on those 3 Sundays ended up being worth billions in future revenue; one of Brian’s more savvy deals.   When the Beatles took the stage that winter night, they dominated the top 10 of American pop charts, breaking records before the public could even see them.  Beatlemania was surging, and their nationally televised performance turned the phenomenon nuclear.  In this clip, you get to see John, Paul, George, and Ringo give one of the most iconic and singular performances in the history of music.  They look incredibly young and cool, giving one of their better live performances of their career, if not the best, considering what was on the line.  Even though they were just rocking a small live TV audience of screaming girls, you can tell they know that countless millions of eyeballs are on them.  They’re never actually sweating, but John and Paul are clearly the most nervous.  Paul’s nervousness comes out in the small quiver in his voice and with exaggerated stage movements like extra head wobbling.  John looks confident, but stiff in his defiant pose.  You can tell he feels a bit naked and alone up there too, being positioned prominently on the stage, with George joining Paul on the backing vocals.  George for that matter comes off incredibly, pulling off complicated and flawless solos in “Till There Was You,”  and “I Saw Her Standing There” in particular.  He also looks fantastic standing in the middle anchoring Paul and John.  The real star is Ringo.  Every time the camera glides on him, he shows a natural full range of emotions scaling from goofy enthusiasm , jokey smiles and grins, all highlighted by his dramatic and awesome drumming.  Ringo was always the best and most natural guy in the group when it came to charming the cameras, a skill that he is criminally overlooked for in figuring the group’s colossal success.  When the Beatles finally finish, they still seem nervous, sensing that their perfect performance is just the start of a whole new wave of outrageous reality heading their way.  Anyone, if you’ve never seen this, give it a watch, and soak in all the mad greatness.  Enjoy.

If you’ve read this site enough, you know that I like making declarations, so here is a strong one.  “All Those Years Ago,” is required listening for Beatles fans and one of the best George Harrison songs ever.  It was written by George Harrison as a song for Ringo Starr to sing, but Ringo thought the vocal melody was too high for him.  So, it went to the scrap heap.  Then John Lennon was murdered on the streets of New York City, stunning the world.  I’m sure right away, Beatles fans the world over expected a musical tribute of some sort from Paul, George, and Ringo.  Rumors of a reunion must have been strong, despite the concept being horribly illogical with John’s passing.  On a certain level, the pressure must have been high on these guys to do something, which was of course, cruelly unfair.  If your best friend died, would anyone expect you to make a commercial pop song?  A song that would be judged by music critics?  Well, the guys did respond, they are artists after all.  Paul made “Here, Today,” a touching ballad.  George took his stalled Ringo project, changed the lyrics, and made it a John Lennon tribute.  In many ways, it would be the closet thing people got to a Beatles reunion until the “Anthology” in the mid 9os.  Ringo was on drums, George was singing lead, Paul was on bass and sang backup with his wife Linda.  Famed Beatle producer George Martin contributed to the track’s production along with Geoff Emerick, the famous Beatle studio engineer.  The song is a nostalgic wonder, mixing elements of Chuck Berry guitar riffage, Bob Dylan lyricism, and sweet Beatle vocal backing magic, all classic marks of George’s songwriting.  The lyrics tell the story of George’s love for John, and his agreement with John’s life philosophies.  It also includes attacks on John’s critics, my personal favorite part.  It accomplishes a lot of ideas both musically and lyrically, but leaves you wanting more.  That’s probably the point because the biggest crime in John’s death, outside the destruction of his family, was how this was a man taken too soon.  John was nowhere near finished as an artist and as a leader of peace loving people around the world.  George knew that more then anyone, and created a song that I, and many others, can’t help but replay over and over.  Enjoy.

So, its common knowledge that there are some gaping plot holes in the “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” the first Indiana Jones movie.  One is, how did Indiana Jones know how to close his eyes when the Nazis opened the Ark?  Another is, how did he escape the island when all the Nazis died in the ensuing ghost melting party?  The most famous one is concerns how Indiana Jones got to that island in the first place.  We swim him swim to the submarine, climb on top of it, then the film wipes to the dock the Nazis land in, and Indiana Jones looks really wet.  How in hell did he manage this?  Wasn’t the submarine closed?  Wouldn’t someone notice if he climbed in?  Well, according to the original script, Indiana uses his whip to lash himself onto the periscope and sort of surfs along somehow.  Here is an image with a tiny Indiana Jones model mounted on top of the periscope of the submarine.

The sheer lunacy of this stunt was cut from the final movie, and most people never noticed how Indy made it to the secret Nazi island.  However, it was during the close examination of this scene last night, where I made a startling discovery.  When Indiana Jones swims to the submarine, he no longer has his trade marked fedora.  I made sure to rewind and fast forward a bunch of times, but sure enough, by the time Indiana gets to the secret island, he has no hat.  Then he jumps a Nazi guard, steals his uniform, and definitely has no hat.  Where is the hat?  It’s gone!  But wait, isn’t Indiana never supposed to lose his hat?  They make a point of it in each succeeding movie.  As you know, the opening of “The Last Crusade” is dedicated as the origin story of how young Indiana Jones got the hat in the first place.  Hold up, you’re saying, isn’t Indiana Jones wearing his hat at the end of Raiders?  Surely he must have retrieved it from that boat with all the Jamaican dudes, right?  Actually, if you look closely, that is a different hat, his gray fedora; the hat he uses to wear when he travels.

Holy shit.  There is very little discussion on this matter on the internet, but luckily I found one that attempts to explain what happened to his goddamned hat; his lucky iconic hat, the hat he is NEVER supposed to lose.  According to the “internets,” in the original script, it basically says, ‘when Indy boards the submarine, he “loses his hat once and for all.”‘  In the novelization of the movie, Indy even comments on the fact saying, “Finding the ark cost me my favorite hat.”  Then he laughs…!  Now obviously, after “Raiders” debuted as a smash success, iconography was created, sequels were lined up, and hat mania swept the world.  The conveniently missing hat would never be missing again, and like “Last Crusade” depicts, Indiana would never lose the hat his whole life.  According to further novelization, Indiana would have the hat repaired and reblocked countless times, as a simple felt fedora would never be able to survive the destruction and mayhem Indiana exposed it to.  So, is it a conspiracy?  Does Indiana have a closet full of replacement hats, but acts like he never lost the original to prove his hat keeping badassery?  No, there is a much more boring word for the case of Indiana’s missing hat, retcon.